Misunderstandings
by icantdeletethisaccountargh
Summary: She didn't have the energy for this. She couldn't keep up with every turn of events with they all happened so suddenly. She couldn't keep up with James Potter. Lily/James


Having feelings for James Potter was a full time job. The boy _never stopped_; top of every class, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Mr. Popular, and King of the school (because let's face it, Sirius was the Queen). It was hard enough keeping up with him so how on Earth did he do it all? She had half a mind to consider his use of a time-turner but doubted he could get his hands on one.

…though he did manage to find himself owning an invisibility cloak…

She had taken to calling him the Mile a Minute Man and had made the mistake of sharing that name with his best friend. Naturally, the name caught on instantly and everyone thought it refered to his fantastic broom and flying abilities. Lily cursed the day she let herself be charmed into befriending Sirius- the boy was a pain in the butt. On top of keeping up with James, Sirius doubled the trouble and both insisted on weaseling their way into her heart (in two very different ways).

And then on top of _that, _there was the fiasco of neither knowing about her feelings for James (read: her butterfly-inducing, heart-pounding, palm-sweating crush on).

And then on top of _that_ mess!

She shared _everything_ with them both save for her bed and clothes! In the common room, they squished her on the couch. In every class, they sat behind her and made learning far more entertaining than should be allowed. At meals, all four boys had taken to sitting with her and her friends and they often stole food right off of her plate.

It was rather exhausting.

The poor Head Girl smashed her face into her pillow in her blessedly empty dorm room. Seventh year was proving to be harder than she ever imagined. Not that classes weren't a breeze- with enough studying everything was rather easy- she just didn't have the energy to fancy someone like James. So he had fancied her a bit at the end of fifth year, that didn't mean he still did. He had matured during their sixth year and with that, his little teenage crush evaporated. Or so it seemed, at least.

He was so _confusing_! Sometimes the way he said certain things or the way he looked at her was like he was trying to silently communicate that there was _more_ to everything he did around her. Sometimes he treated her like one of the guys which, yes, was an honor enough in itself but that was not what she was aiming for. So which was she? Was she something more? Was she one of the guys? Merlin, as long as he didn't 'love her like a sister.' That would likely drive her mad.

"Someone's being a party pooper," came a smooth, casual voice from the door. Lily rolled her head, eyes wide with disbelief that Sirius had just entered the one place that guaranteed her peace.

"How did you get up here?" she asked grumpily. Sirius shrugged his shoulders in that elegant way of his and sauntered over to sit on the bed by her knees.

"C'mon Lils, who do you think you're talking to? If there's any bloke who can get up here, it's me." He patted her leg as if his words were meant to be comforting. "Now why don't you come down to the party to celebrate our first victory? James has been looking for you all night."

"Lily turned her face back into her pillow and yelled something unintelligible.

"What was that my little ginger snap?" Sirius encouraged. Lily sighed heavily and rolled over completely.

"I said you're obnoxious and I'm tired." She scooted over when Sirius made a move to lay down next to her. He took her hand in his and swung it about as they stared up at the top of her four-poster bed.

"What's been bothering you, babe?" he asked earnestly

"Don't call me babe," Lily said dryly. Sirius stopped swinging their hands and gave her the look that said he wasn't kidding around.

"Stop doing that." At Lily's furrowed brow, he continued. "Stop telling us off when we ask you something and then _not_ answer. I'm not asking to bother you or flirt. You've been kind of a downer these past few days and you're dampening out spirit."

Yes, well _that_ made her feel fantastic. Not only did she not have the energy to keep up with the person she secretly liked, but she was making everyone around her miserable. Nothing to stop her party mood now.

What else was she to do but the one thing that had been nagging at the back of her head for days? It wasn't the ideal situation, but she forced her confession out as quickly as possible to prevent herself from chickening out.

"_I have feelings for James_," she rushed . Sirius choked on his breath in surprise. He let out a short, loud laugh that continued to make Lily feel _loads_ better.

"Well the shoes on the right foot, isn't it my fiery little Lily," he laughed as he stood and brushed out his clothes.

"The shoes on the other foot," she corrected. Sirius waved his hand flippantly as if his blatant misuse of common sayings was of no importance.

"Come now Lily-bear, we're going to go find Jamsie and sort things right out." He held his hand out expectantly. Lily sat up swiftly and swatted it away.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going to go tell him _that_ in front of everyone!" she said in a shrill hiss. Sirius gave an overly dramatic exasperated sigh.

"Fine. But at least talk to him. Give him a hint that there's something there. Lead the horse to the water and let him take care of the rest."

The eccentric boy had something there. Lily examined her hands absently, thinking of how things would go if she gave him the smallest shove in the right direction. If he really did like her, well then he would act on it. If not, then at least she wasn't making a fool out of herself.

"A nice shag should do the trick."

* * *

><p>Sirius took a few moments to himself before following Lily back down to the party to make sure that his cheek wasn't noticeably red. The spitfire had left with a smile, though, so it was well worth it. Soon enough, the couple that was destined to be <em>would be<em>. All she needed was a little push from fate's hand (aka Sirius). Deliberately standing on the top step, Sirius slid all the way back down to the common room and hopped up in one smooth motion. It took a minute to find where Lily was behind James and the others and twice that to weave his way through the rowdy Gryffindors.

James was sitting on the back of the couch, talking loudly, with Remus and Peter seated on either side and Lily looked like she has stopped herself from tapping him on the shoulder. Sirius put a hand on her back and opened his mouth to announce them when James' voice registered.

"…and being bossed around constantly? I don't need another McGonagall thank you very much. Not to mention all those years of crap and detentions I went through because of her."

"Prongs!" Sirius yelled to be heard over the crowd. He tried to catch the fleeing Lily but she ripped her arm out of his grasp with a furious look. Simultaneously, James glanced over his right shoulder with a bright smile to greet his friend.

"Welcome back, Pads. I was just telling the fellas about _why_ cannot, and will not, date Evans-"

"Oh sod _off_ James!" Sirius barked. Several students nearby paused in surprise at the sudden hostility of the usually laid-back boy towards his best friend.

"Your 'I'm not going to love Lily' kicks never last more than three days. And since when is she Evans?"

James swung his legs over the back of the couch so he could stand properly and face Sirius. His dark brows came down below his hairline to meet in confusion. Sirius wiped his face down with one hand to settle himself down a bit.

"Since I decided that it would be best for everyone if I tried a little harder to give up on her. Why's it such a bother to you now?"

"Since you just sent Lily away crying when she was _probably _about to make a move on you."

The expression on James' face was so torn between ecstatic shock and horror that Sirius would have laughed if he wasn't so flabbergasted. James didn't even bother arguing for another moment before hurrying and shoving through the throngs of people to try and beat Lily to the Girl's stairs.

"Lily!" he called out, drawing more attention. "Lily, wait! Dammit…"

Lily didn't pause or acknowledge his very loud cursing. She'd heard enough. Was that all some sort of sick prank? Did they both already know about her feelings?

_No_. she refused to believe that. Even the old Marauders had never been quite so cruel to her face like that. It had to be a misunderstanding. It just had to.

But that didn't stop the hurt.

"Lily!" she heard James frantic cry again from the other side of the dormitory door. She didn't care anymore how he got up there; she just wanted to stop the hurt from growing. "Lily please, you've got it all wrong."

"You just listed off everything that's _awful_ about me, James. What is it that I've got wrong? The fact that doing Head duties with me is equivalent to detention or that I made years of your life miserable?"

There was a mumble that sounded suspiciously like "you heard that?" Lily gripped the sides of her head to keep herself from kicking something in her pain and anger.

"You don't understand, Lils-"

"-Don't you 'Lils' me-"

"I was only saying that to convince the guys that I was over you. I didn't _mean_ any of that. You're perfect."

To get over her? _Get over her?_ The hands on her hair came forward to wipe furiously at the hot trails of tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't have the energy for this. She couldn't keep up with every turn of events when they all happened so suddenly. She couldn't keep up with James Potter.

"I'm going to open this door now," Lily informed him in an impressively even tone. "And you're going to explain _what_ you're trying to get over. And don't say 'please!' You always say that too much when you're desperate." With a stiff flick of her wand, the door swung open to reveal an unnaturally disheveled looking James leaning with both hands on the frame. His hazel eyes were wide and pleading behind his ever-crooked glasses. He almost looked surprised. She raised her eyebrows expectantly and he took a long step forward to be closer to her.

"I was trying to convince them that it was possible for me to stop wanting you…" he said slowly. The tears didn't stop but her face grew unbearably hot with hope and anticipation. "I do that sometimes- tell them I'm over you… I can give them lists and lists of reasons why I don't love you but they always know I'm lying."

He waited there, still catching his breath from his rush and sudden flooding of emotions. He watched her trying to calm herself by rubbing the hem of her shirt between her fingers. That was one of the very few things that always gave away her true emotions. The tears were new. Had he ever seen her cry before? No… he would remember the heart-wrenching pain the sight of her tears caused. This was a level of Lily he had never seen before.

"I don't understand," she pleaded. She fought to keep her voice from shaking. She was stronger than this. So what if she was about to casually ask out the person she had quickly grown to have feelings for only to have him insult her so easily?

Eyes closed, she took one deep breath through her nose to clear her mind of every jumbled thought.

"Do you have feelings for me, James?" she asked very clearly. "Do you really want to _not_ have feelings for me?"

James looked as torn as she felt. It was embarrassing for the both of them- it was embarrassing for anyone- to talk about emotions and feelings that were budding over the last however many years. His cheeks were uncharacteristically red; James potter was never bashful. Still, Lily waited anxiously. There was no way he was getting away with brushing this off.

He took two more steps towards Lily until he had to tilt his head ever so slightly downward to meet her eyes. Hesitantly (since when did _he_ ever hesitate?) he put his hands gently on her shoulders.

"I am in love with you and even if I wanted to, I could never just _get over_ it." His words were so low and steady and sure. Lily was almost jealous of how he could say such things without a shred of doubt.

"Those are some pretty heavy words for a seventeen year old boy," Lily half-joked in her quivering voice. James' hands came up to hold her head tenderly on either side behind her ears.

"I've been in love with you for over a year, Lily Evans. Believe it or not you are impossible to get over. Persistent, aren't you?" He smiled to release the tension of the moment. Lily shoved his shoulder and took the last step to let her head fall forward onto his chest.

"Git," she muttered with a smile.

* * *

><p>Pages: 5<br>Words: 2, 293  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: Meh. This just kind of happened. It's a bit anti climactic but I'm good at disappointing haha This is far from my favorite work. I actually don't particularly like it but here you go anyway


End file.
